Trick or Treat-ment

Halloween is right around the corner and for our family, the festivities have already begun. Pumpkin painting, trick or treating at the zoo, and picking out costumes. But this year for All Hallows Eve I will be getting a different kind of Treat. Yup, treat-ment! And not the kinda “mint” covered in chocolate that comes with your Olive Garden check. Instead, I’ve gotten the green light for Chemotherapy to begin as of Oct. 23. 

Rewind to 12 hours ago and set sail on an adventure that was quite possibly the longest day thus far. Hours spent in just one doctors visit. A quick bite in the trusty ol’ hospital cafeteria and right back for another lengthy appointment. Have you ever had those days where you are just counting down the minutes until it ends? This wasn’t one of those days. Instead, I was trying to figure out where the time was going because the 4 hour appointment wasn’t allowing me even half of the time I needed to understand , process and ask all of the questions I needed to. And it was probably for this reason that my oncologist asked Tyler if I was “always like this”. And honestly the the answer to that should have been no! ((Maybe I’m biased)) I think I’m usually a pretty, go with the flow, kinda gal. Don’t ask a ton of questions and stay on a need to know basis. Unless it’s gossip, and then I need all of the tea spilt!  But in this case I need to know as much as I can!! And if asking 100 questions before I allow the doctor to even speak is what I need to do than by golly, grab your notepad and keep up. Luckily my oncologist is the sweetest man and has the best bedside manner to accommodate my needs during this time. Even if him and Tyler do have side conversations (joking, I hope) about how I’m not on his top 10 worst patient list “yet”. But any doctor who is willing to put me in time-out with a smack of the hand when I say I’m sorry for taking up so much of his time, gets an A+ in my book. Meanwhile the amount of information and detail that was given today would send anyone’s brain into overdrive. So for the sake of time, patience and carpel tunnel I will over simplify the conversation.

As stated before, I wasn’t going to be eligible for the Immunotherapy trial due to my extremely low estrogen count being 2-4%.

<Immunotherapy will basically teach my body to fight cancer cells that may try to develop in the future. >

However, my doctor and his team were able to write one heck of a recommendation letter and got them to give my case a second look. Wouldn’t you know, it worked!!! I now qualify for the clinical trial of receiving Immunotherapy.  With this I am asking for prayers upon prayers.

Because it is a clinical trial, and immunotherapy isn’t something that is offered to Breast Cancer patients yet... there is a 50% chance that I will not receive the drug and will actually get a placebo. For those of you who do not know what that means ... I could potentially be getting IV bags of pure H2O for the next year. While I would have loved this in my 20’s after a night out at the club, I don’t so much love the idea of it now. Because Triple Negative cancer is so aggressive and has a higher reoccurrence rate, we need this!!! The cells in my body need to enroll in every combat, karate, kickboxing class available to be able to decrease the chance of cancer ever invading my personal bubble again.  With that said the treatment plan is this :

• 12 weeks of chemotherapy with Drug #1/2 AND ((hopefully)) Immunotherapy 
• Followed by 4 weeks of chemotherapy with drug #3 AND ((hopefully)) Immunotherapy.

At which point we will evaluate the affects the treatment had on the tumors and we will hope that the tumors were responsive and shrank in size. After that we will go to either more treatment or surgery and radiation as well as )(hopefully)) immunotherapy.

Should I receive the placebo and not the actual medication for immunotherapy, the scientific calculations that were presented stated that my survival rate over the course of the next 10 years is a big whoppin 66%. Now, if you just said in your head that, that number is great, contact me with your words of encouragement because I am not feeling the least bit confident in that number.

Also, does anyone else get Destinys Child on loop in their head every time I say “survivor “? 


So at this point I have too many factors working against me to feel optimistic about being cancer free for the rest of my life, or even the next 10 years. But I am going to put all of my positive energy into it. I’m going to pray hard and I’m going to try to hope for the best. All I can do now is focus on each day one at a time. And I am asking that everyone else do the same !!

Now that I look back on this post, I’m blown away that 4 hours of information can be laid out so simply. However, within that time frame the dreadful side effects were also discussed.

1. Hair loss
2. Nausea 
3. Neuropathy....

Add about 15 more to that list and it will pretty much be complete. Fast forward to about half an hour ago where I purchased my first wig! Things are happening and happening fast.

So October 23 is the big day. The first day that I think all of this will REALLY set in, and start changing my life as a whole. I’d be full of more than just cancer if I told you I wasn’t scared out of my mind. To date, besides some pains in my chest from the tumors, I feel fine. I feel healthy. I look fine and healthy. And come week after next, I will be feeding my body a poison that  makes me feel and look terrible, in order to kill the sickness that is lingering behind the scenes.  I’ve always avoided haunted houses this time of year because terror and I dont make a good combination. However this year I’ll be visiting the scariest place not listed on the Danger Run pit-stop list. ; the treatment room.  And that is more terrifying than any ghost, goblin, or ghoul...Maybe not as scary as the new Michael Myers movie... but definitely a close second. Trick Or Treat.