The year of YES

Yesterday was a day of celebration. Not because of the events that took place on that day, two years ago. But because of what that day means. It means that I am alive and present on this Earth. Able to write this blog and express my gratitude for being here two years after I was first diagnosed with breast cancer.  Im not able to say that I’m celebrating health but I am celebrating life. Life that I’m embracing in a new home. With my husband and sweet son who just turned 3 years old. 

While I’m saddened by the fact that this journey still continues, I am embracing all things representing my time still on this Earth. While that is sometimes hard to accomplish in the midst of a pandemic, I’ve found myself putting more effort into accepting more opportunities and allowing myself to go with the flow and enjoy things more than stress over things. This weekend we celebrated my sons birthday and usually when something goes wrong while planning a party I obsess and stress. But this year I wanted to enjoy my time. So when the balloons popped, the weather was a little hotter than expected and people canceled last minute because of Covid, instead of freaking out I said, oh well! And while it felt extremely out of character, and a bit like a loss of control, it also felt a lot more relaxing and freeing.  I was also given the opportunity to bring awareness to breast cancer and metastatic breast cancer at our local mall during their breast cancer awareness campaign. Twisted Pink, a foundation who strives to bring awareness and research to find a cure for metastatic breast cancer approached me after my metastatic diagnoses and asked if they could nominate me to be one of seven ambassadors chosen to represent this year. I love a good platform and will do anything to bring awareness to this ugly disease so onvipusly I said yes. With that said, I have to be honest and say that I was unaware of how differently I would feel several weeks later. I’ve always been self conscious and have struggled with my appearance. Especially as of late. But I had no idea that after my surgery I would begin to look like a chipmunk/ Cabbage Patch doll. I’m talking, so swollen from steroids that when I smiled my cheeks were so full that they would push my eyes closed. Not to mention the giant bald spot that I couldn’t do much about. But sure! Let’s take a picture and blow it up into a life size poster to display in the mall for two months. While still very self conscious, I embraced the opportunity, had fun trying on clothes and getting pampered and had a great experience while meeting wonderful new people. Not to mention, it is a great opportunity to throw breast cancer in everyone’s face so that women and men both will be more aware to do self examinations and advocate for their health! 
It was hard to see myself on that life size poster. I didn’t recognize myself and was slightly embarrassed by my weight. (By slightly I mean extremely.) But I’m glad I did it. I’m honored to be chosen. And I’m thankful for the people who pushed me and the experience. 2020 may be a terrible, no good, very bad year...but it’s my year to start saying “yes”. Yes to opportunities. Yes to pushing my boundaries and yes to stepping out of my comfort zone. With all that said, and breast cancer awareness month approaching, let me remind you to feel yourself up and examine those tata’s! 🙏🏻💕